Midnight talks and a plate of cookies

Posted on Mon Mar 31st, 2025 @ 1:51am by Jo McEntyre & Commander Izzy Schröder

1,121 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: A Choir by the Bay
Location: Warbler- Main Briefing room

Josiah it seems, could not sleep a wink. They were restless, nervous, their mind racing. Being on this ship was like a dream. Freedom from an overbearing and oppressive mother who had controlled everything about their life, even the way they expressed themselves. Josiah wanted to break free, being who they wanted to be. Of course, he’d have to get along with these new people in their life. Their fellow classmates and the professor, Izzy, who seemed nice.

They got up, padding softly to the briefing room that doubled as the main mess hall for meals and such. They were wearing their oversized cardigan, a soft shirt and pajama pants that hung from them. He enters the room, not expecting to see anyone but a light was on in the briefing room.

Izzy had heard the soft pattering of footfalls as she was enjoying some cookies and milk. Knowing there were only a handful of souls aboard with her, she was curious as to who was up and about.

"Josiah," she said as she caught sight of the Caitian. "Come, join me. What has you up this late, friend?"

They tugged their cardigan around them, coming into the briefing room. “Couldn’t sleep” they say shyly, sitting down at the table across from Izzy. It was clear he had much on his mind, even to an Empath like Izzy.

She slid the plate of cookies towards the middle of the table, easily within reach of Joasiah and still within her own. "Cookie?" she asked offering to share. She had more than enough on the plate suspecting someone would stir and join her.

"Do you want to talk about it? Any of it?" she inquired with her dark eyes softening their gaze as she looked at the Caitian. "The things on your mind, Jo" clarified Izzy.

They reached for a cookie, slowly munching on it, before they put it down, looking at Izzy. “I…,” They start, nervously, like a giant weight on their chest. “I said before that my mother wanted me to come to “make me a real man” but…” they stopped, not knowing how to put their feelings into words. “I don’t…” they stumble on their words as they tried to articulate their feelings.

"Because you cannot become something you are not," Izzy warmly smiled. She couldn't sense things with clarity back at the McEntyre Ranch, not with Josiah's mother's emotions. She took a drink from her glass of milk.

Mothers she thought. "Jo," she said addressing the Caitian having shifted from using the full version of Josiah's name. "I made a mistake of telling you that you already were a real man. I'm sorry. I wasn't listening to you, not the way I should have been. At least not the way that I am now."

"You have no interest in becoming a 'man' because you've outgrown the 'boy' she raised you as" stated Izzy. "You feel differently in your heart as to who you are."

Jo nodded their head. “It was always what “she” wanted.” They started again, referring to their mother. “Not what I wanted, not what I felt. Never felt right with “boy”, “man” anything like that,” they stopped again their mind trying to make the words come out of what Jo felt since they were little. “I…I…I,” they stammered for the words.

"You," stated Izzy. "You are who you are, and there is nothing wrong with that. This journey is personal and you are discovering who you are, who you have always been meant to be."

It was that moment, that encouragement that clicked something in Jo.

“I want to be the true me. I don’t want to be Josiah anymore and I don’t ever think I ever wanted to be. I want to blossom into the beautiful girl I know I am on the inside! Can you help me, Ms Izzy?” The dam had broken, and torrents of emotion and feelings came rushing out. Like liberation from an awful prison.

Izzy Schröder looked at the Caitian. "I can try," she replied simply. "I will try. I can help you with some things, but a lot of this will be on you to work through. I'll see about giving you as much support and guidance as I can."

“I’ll take all the help you’ll give me.” Jo smiles, a real smile, not a smile they put on for show but a genuine smile for the first time. “I do like the name Jo. I…I also want permission, if..if I can, to wear the female attire uniforms.”

"They're unisex uniforms, but you're welcome to alter the design or use a variant that fits you best" noted Izzy. "Clearly we had to make some alterations to accommodate a Caitian anatomy" she teased. "Whatever makes you comfortable, and if you prefer Jo, then the others will call you that."

“I think Jo for now, fits me quite fine. I think there is still the skirted version of the uniforms in the library database, and… I’d like to be referred to as She/her, if that’s ok too.” Jo pauses once more. “I’ve probably taken up a lot of your time.” Jo says as she gets up from the table.

“Is there any other advice you can give me?” Jo asked with that curious look that domestic cats get.

"Be patient with the others," Izzy said. "It may take them a bit of time to get adjusted to these changes. But they will adjust."

“I will.” Jo smiles again, starting to get up but stops.

“Will…will you help me make a proper introduction to the others? As the real me? I know we had that first meeting but I think I need to actually reintroduce myself properly.” Jo asked, hope in their heart but they still feared what others might think and that came across to Izzy through their emotions.

Izzy looked at Jo sympathetically. "You should be the one to do that, Jo. When you are ready to do so. Maybe each of them individually?" She wanted to help Jo, but they needed an occasional push forward on their own.

"I....I guess...I could try that...I...I don't really know them well." Jo stammered again, and their emotions showed fear of what the others would say.

"None of you know each other, Jo. That's why this is a good opportunity to let them know you. The you that you want them to know" Izzy replied. "If you have any trouble, you just let me know."

“I will…Thank you, Ms. Izzy” Jo smiles before they, she, heads back to bed.

 

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